How Joe Vitale’s Foolproof Technique Changed My Life

Posted on June 9, 2014 by

Have you ever wanted something in your life that just seemed to elude you? Did you try everything you knew and it still didn’t work? I spent about 10 years doing everything possible to attract a wonderful man to enjoy this life journey with. Trust me when I say I tried everything; from on-line dating, hiring a match maker, going where I might meet men, swing dancing, bicycling, kayaking and more. And although I met lots of men I didn’t find one that worked out long term.

I was really discouraged.

The Attractor Factor book coverWould you like to hear about how I shifted my thoughts and changed my life completely?

Joe Vitale wrote a book called The Attractor Factor. In it he describes a process for clearing the negative energy and attracting what you want in life.

In June of 2010, I sat out on my deck and I used his process. This is what I did. I wrote down exactly how I felt about being alone and single and how much I hated it. I let it all out. Here’s an excerpt from what I wrote.
“I am alone. I have no love/life partner. I have no one to love and care about. No one feels that way about me. I feel disconnected, not good enough, like there is something about me that men don’t like. I feel sad, lonely, not good enough, like I don’t “get it”. I feel isolated and afraid that I will never meet the right man and develop a healthy, passionate, loving relationship.

I don’t want to live alone, eat alone, sleep alone, shop alone, do chores alone, go out alone. I don’t want to worry that I will never find the right man. I don’t want to be my sole support-emotionally, physically, financially. I hate how deep the sadness and fear is hidden. I feel like a failure.”


Then, after mopping up my tears, I pulled out a clean sheet of paper and wrote about what I wanted to attract into my life. I wrote how happy, grateful, and joyful I felt now that I was married to a wonderful man. Here’s some of what I wrote.

“I am happy, grateful and joyful now that I am married to a wonderful man. We are so attracted to each other on every level. Our spiritual paths are similar. He is so handsome and I love to look at him. His bright blue eyes look deep into me. He is smart, playful, passionate, fun. We both love to dance, swim, kayak, bicycle, travel, sing, make love and more.

I am good enough. I don't need to be perfect.We are both physically, emotionally, and spiritually healthy. I feel so connected, loved and adored. I feel safe. I feel joyful, happy, light, free, relaxed, loving, adoring.

I now know I “get it”. I understand. I am good enough. I don’t need to be perfect. Good enough is good enough. I feel totally accepted exactly for who and how I am and I accept him totally and effortlessly. I feel good about my life. I feel successful, connected. Our love grows deeper every day.

I love feeling this way.

Thank you.”

Then I folded up the papers and stuck them in the book, put the book away, and forgot about them.

In July I decided to finally go on the cruise to Alaska that I had been wanting to go on for a long time. I couldn’t find anyone to go with me. I wasn’t dating anyone and none of my girlfriends or family could go. So I decided to go alone. One of my friends told me that the Vacations To Go website had a Singles option so I signed up so I would have other singles to share meals and activities with.

Alaskan Cruise

Vacations To Go put up a chat room where we could upload our photos and chat with the other singles before the cruise. I signed up for a tour of Vancouver the morning of the cruise. I was on the tour bus picking up more passengers when a man walked down the aisle who I recognized from the chat room. I said “you’re Al.” He said “you’re Deb”. And we spent the whole morning of the tour talking and getting to know each other.

Deb and Al on cruiseI soon discovered that his wife had died just 6 weeks ago and I backed up and said to myself “whoa, I am ready for a relationship but he isn’t. I don’t want to get hurt – again.” Then, the next day, I realized that I really enjoyed being with him and decided to practice what I teach to others – to be present and enjoy this moment. So I thought that if I had 7 days of good moments and never saw him again, I would still have those wonderful moments. So I took the risk and pulled down my wall and we spent the rest of the cruise together.

We never spoke of the future, just enjoyed the moment. Two weeks after the cruise he was at my house and the next week I was at his, and the rest is history. A year later I sold my house in CT, closed my practice and moved to NY to live with Al.

About 4 months after I met Al, a book fell of my office shelf. Guess what? It was The Attractor Factor. I picked it up and saw some paper hanging out of it. It was the 2 pages I had written before the cruise. I sat down and read what I had written and started to laugh and cry because I had described Al and the relationship with him exactly.

Since meeting Al and moving to NY my life has changed dramatically for the better in every way. Before I moved I was single and spending a lot of time trying to meet men and develop a relationship. I was working full time at a local hospital plus ¾ time in my private practice. Although I always had enough money, it was always tight. I was stressed and worn out and was dreaming of some way to escape the daily grind. I was having some health challenges. And I was alone.

So much of what I wrote on that second page is now part of my life. Al is a wonderful, warm, funny, attractive man with bright blue eyes. We love to sing together in duets and 3 different choirs and chorales. We bicycle, kayak, dance and travel. Two summers ago Al and I took a cruise through the Mediterranean and visited Rome, Santorini (this was on my vision board), Pompeii, Ephesus and more. We just got back from a River cruise on the Rhine from Amsterdam to Switzerland that was spectacular.

Last year I bought a condo in southwest FL and this winter Al and I did the snowbird thing and spent 4 months there. It was so wonderful to enjoy flowers, sunshine and warmth during one of the snowiest winters ever in NY.

Since moving to NY, I built a small private practice, and have written 4 books about Attention Deficit Disorder and 2 books about Mindfulness Skills, one for adults and one that is coming out this Aug for kids and teens. I have been teaching clinicians how to teach mindfulness skills to their clients nationally. My mindfulness book has been selling like hot cakes on Amazon and is a best seller for my publisher. As an old friend commented yesterday, it seems like my life has exploded since I met Al.

As you can see, Joe Vitale’s process really worked. I got exactly what I wrote on that second page after clearing the negative on the first page.

Want to change something about your life? Try Vitale’s process to clear the negative and attract the positive energy. Take a clean sheet of paper and write down how you feel about what you have that you don’t want. Really feel it. Let it all out. Then take out another sheet of paper and write down what you want in every detail. Be specific. Be sure to include how you would feel as you imagine that that you already have it.

Then focus on what you DO want, not what you don’t want. Pay attention to the things you love about your life. Look for things to be grateful for. Count your blessings even when you are in the midst of terrible events or feelings. Take time every day to imagine how you will feel when you have what you want. Feel it. Make it a habit to shift your thoughts and your feelings to be more positive. All of these things shift your energy and the energy around you. Quantum physics is proving that thoughts create.

Remember, you create what you spend your time thinking about.

Please let me know how you used this process. I am looking forward to hearing how it worked for you.

Debra Burdick, LCSW, also known as ‘The Brain Lady’, is an international expert on ADHD and Mindfulness. She is an award-winning, #1 best-selling author of: Mindfulness Skills Workbook, Mindfulness Skills for Kids and Teens, ADHD: Non-Medication Treatments and Skills for Children and Teens, Mindfulness for Teens with ADHD, Mindfulness for Kids with ADHD, Mindfulness Skills for Kids Card Deck, and Radical Self-Care When You Are Ill Card Deck. She is an international speaker and retired psychotherapist and neurotherapist, who has been helping all ages thrive for over 30 years.

I would love to hear your personal experiences with this topic.


  1. I just got the book! So glad you recommended it! 🙂

    Comment by Natalie Bradley on at

  2. HI Natalie,
    How do you like The Attractor Factor?

    Comment by Debra Burdick on at

  3. Hello Debra,

    It sounds like you have a wonderful life. I recently bought your book, “Mindfulness Skills Workbook…” at the suggestion of my therapist (a recent and occasional thing). I was diagnosed with Mild Cognitive Impairment about six months ago and read in SharpBrains that Mindfulness Meditation can be helpful. This seemed especially appropriate for me since my mind sometimes seems scattered and I’ve compared the way I feel with what ADHD might be. I have skipped around in your book and have tried some of your mindfulness exercises, and they seem to be very helpful — despite the fact that I could never “empty” my mind for ordinary meditation. I especially like using it to clear my mind for sleeping.

    I’m writing because I wonder if you ever touch on the topic of Mild Cognitive Impairment. It’s frightening, but I have been taking a variety of steps to try to improve my thinking processes. Mostly, though, this summer and the next couple of weeks have been out-of-hand with so many different personal activities that I have little time to concentrate on improving my MCI.

    Thanks for your book!


    Comment by Dottie Nauer on at

  4. Hi Dottie,
    Thanks for your comment. Practicing mindfulness skills can help with the ability to pay attention and maintain focus. If I were you I would find a local neurofeedback practitioner who uses QEEGs as part of their assessment. Neurofeedback can directly address abnormalities in brainwave functioning. I have helped clients with traumatic brain injuries improve cognitive function and memory. Visit to find a list of providers near you. These with BCN after their name are board certified neurofeedback practitioners. Combining mindfulness practice with neurofeedback is a win-win. Let me know how you make out.

    Comment by Debra Burdick on at

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